Let’s be honest with ourselves. Everyone is constantly talking and constantly moving. No one is ever quiet and takes time to listen. There’s never really anytime to listen. I don’t just mean listen to people. I mean listen to your body, listen to others and listen to nature.
Silence & Relaxation
I’m one of those people that absolutely loves silence. I’ve experienced silence my whole life, so I don’t like to disturb the peace. You can kind of tell because people always describe me as “chill”.
Chill meaning that I like to go with the flow and not start any fights or arguments. The only time I do is when I engage in meaningful discussions because I’m genuinely interested in them. I’m not a small talker. That stuff is boring and has no substance.
A World Full Of Small Talk
Small talk is pretty much the only talk you see nowadays. Everyone is busy and don’t have time to actually have a full conversation where you take time to get to know someone better. Everyone is essentially just an acquaintance with one or two true friends.
I personally don’t like acquaintances because they aren’t really your friends and that’s what I value. If we are friends then I will engage in things with you, if not then I will be quiet and stay in my bubble.
It’s not that I’m shy or anything, it’s just that I lack social skills and hate small talk.
Lost Identity
When I was trying to fit in in middle school and sometimes high school, I would try to be outgoing and social. I went to a lot of different groups and hung out with a bunch of different people. I thought I was a cool dude because everyone would be happy to see me.
However, I never felt that way. I felt terrible inside and just really out of place. I didn’t have an identity in any of these groups. There were no true friends in these groups. It was like I was irreplaceable and disposable at any given time.
This was one of the reasons why I hated my senior year in high school. I would hop around 4-5 different groups with no true identity in any of them. I always felt like the newcomer and less of an original. That newcomer feeling is tough because I’ve gone through it so many times. It gets really frustrating, so I decided to stop doing it.
My Quiet Self
Now I’m in college and I’m my quiet self again. I’m just being who I am. Remember this: I don’t hate people or dislike talking to people, I just don’t like small talk. I also like others that I can relate to, which is a real challenge to find.
I like things that not a lot of people enjoy doing, so why would I bring that up in a conversation? No one wants to have a conversation about therapy or counseling. Pokemon? Angels and Airwaves? 90s-00s pop punk & rock? No one really engages in these things, which means that I don’t bring value in any of these conversations.
I can only talk about the few things that I and the other person has in common, which makes my input very limited. It’s honestly become a natural reaction and expectation that I have whenever I talk to someone new.
Enough about my life for a minute. I think you guys have heard enough and got the point pretty clear. Let me talk about the positives and negatives of being quiet.
Positives Of Being Quiet
- It’s too much work and effort to go out and be social.
- Everyone’s busy all the time, so you don’t really get any value in the conversations.
- All talk is just small talk, which is boring and lacks substance
- I enjoy silence and peace instead of being talkative and outgoing
- When you’re quiet, you actually listen to what people are saying instead of trying to interrupt or speak too much
- When you listen, you understand what the person is saying so you can have a clear response
- You have a small group of people that are actually your friends and not a bunch of acquaintances
- When you’re quiet, you’re usually alone so you can enjoy being with yourself more (best thing ever!)
Negatives Of Being Quiet
- Being quiet isn’t necessarily the norm in today’s society
- You get labeled as weird and shy when that might not be the case
- Fewer people would be willing to engage in a conversation with you
- You’re often left as a mystery because no one really knows you
- You come off as rude or mean because you don’t talk to people
- Some people will be afraid of talking to you because they think you’re intimidating
- Skipping social events is normal, which means that you miss out on a lot
- People will 100% misunderstand you (no one understands me)
- You may not have the best experience at work or networking
- You tend to hold things in because you don’t have many people to go to
- Loneliness can be a real issue when you’re quiet all the time
I know there seem to be more negatives than positives when talking about being quiet. To be honest, I like it that way. First of all, the positives heavily outweigh the negatives. I kind of like being misunderstood and like a mystery. It gives people something to look forward to when they really get to know me.
I also like to be different from societal norms because it’s boring to be like everyone else. We live in a very extroverted and social world, so I’m happy to be quiet and introverted. I can be me without anyone judging me. I will keep living my life being quiet and enjoying myself for who I am.
