Ever been really stressed about talking to a group of people? Have you ever skipped going to parties or social events before? Well, of course we have. These are things that we all have done at some point in our life. This is normal and fairly common. None of these situations that I have mentioned above are associated with social anxiety disorder. None of these situations contain any symptoms of social anxiety disorder.
When you think of social anxiety disorder, you might think that it is a disorder where you feel anxious in social situations. That sounds pretty good in itself, but it is not quite correct. That definition is really broad and can be misinterpreted quite easily. Let’s take a look at the actual definition.
Social Anxiety Disorder
According to Mayo Clinic, social anxiety disorder is a chronic mental health condition in which social interactions cause irrational anxiety. What do we get out of this definition? Absolutely nothing! The definition is still way too broad to describe people with. The definition states that this disorder is chronic, meaning that it can last a lifetime. So, throughout your life you are going to have excessive fear of being in social situations.
Everyone fears being in social situations, especially if they are experienced to a new environment. Pretend your friend invites you to meet their friends for the first time at a social gathering. Are you going to be excited to go to this social gathering? Maybe. Most or at least some of you are going to feel nervous or afraid of doing this. You’ve never met these people before and you’d like to make a good first impression.
You have no idea what interests them, so you don’t really know what to say. You decide to remain quiet the entire time, and you feel like you should have never went because it was a bad idea from the start. Does this person sound like someone with social anxiety disorder? They could, but it depends on if they have two symptoms. The two symptoms of social anxiety disorder is excessive fear and lack of control.
Excessive Fear
People with social anxiety disorder are always in constant fear of social situations as their amygdala is hyperactive. The amygdala is responsible for processing our emotions and detecting any fear that we have from events. Do you feel like everything is going to go wrong in a new situation? Do you always believe that the worst possible thing is going to happen to you? If you do both of these things, then there’s a good chance that you might have this symptom, but don’t worry. The next symptom is the most important one to deal with. Now, there are certain situations where everyone experiences the feelings of excessive fear.
We all have fear when we go on a first date. We all have fear when we meet their parents for the first time. These are just normal situations where you shouldn’t expect yourself to have any kind of anxiety disorder. In these situations, you usually have some symptoms of anxiety. Some of those symptoms include sweating, shaky hands, restlessness, and constant racing thoughts going in your head. In general, all of these things aren’t as bad as they seem if you can control them.
Lack of Control
Excessive fear and lack of control are two key symptoms of social anxiety disorder. These symptoms go hand-in-hand in the diagnosing process. You could have both symptoms of social anxiety disorder, one symptoms (excessive fear), or no symptoms at all. According to the National Institutions of Health (NIMH), the fear that people with social anxiety disorder have in social situations is so strong that they feel it is beyond their ability to control.
Does this description describe what you experience when you’re in social situations? If you’re unsure, look back at the last social situation you had or all social situations you’re in. Do you experience fear and anxiety in all of them? Probably not. If you said yes to this question, then were you able to control it in these social situations? Remember, control is all about how we think, feel, and perceive different environments and situations.
If you managed to get through the situation and enjoyed your time, then you shouldn’t have to worry about anything. Did you leave the social event because you felt uncomfortable? You had control over the situation. Did you decide to stay in the social event because you were afraid of being judged by others? You didn’t have any control over the situation. See the difference there? It all depends on how you control the situation and if you control the situation.
Do You Have Social Anxiety Disorder?
After getting this far and looking at all of the examples, do you have social anxiety disorder? Most likely, the answer is no. You’re probably just shy, an introvert, different from other people, or doesn’t like interacting with others. Everyone is different and everyone has a different personality type. For example, my personality type is INFJ, the rarest one of them all. Less than 2% of people in the world have this personality type. INFJ’s typically keeps their thoughts, feelings, and emotions to themselves. They don’t make friends with just anyone. They like to find people that have similar interests and ideas, so they can have meaningful conversations.
For the people reading this that know me personally, this sounds a lot like me. I highly recommend you guys to take a personality test to see what personality type you are. It really would describe the type of person you are and the things you look for in life. 16personalities has a really good personality test, with unique descriptions describing all of them in detail.
Solutions For People With Social Anxiety Disorder
For those that do have social anxiety disorder, I have a few solutions that I would like to recommend. Some of these solutions require going to therapy or counseling to get the proper treatment needed. However, there is no need to fear or be afraid of this. I believe that social anxiety disorder is not severe or serious enough to the point where you’re life is ruined. You can still enjoy life just like everyone else, it just takes more time. The first solution I recommend would be systematic desensitization.
1. Systematic Desensitization
Systematic desensitization is a therapeutic process where the therapist or counselor takes time with you and slowly exposes you to your fears. In this case, it would be social situations. An example of systematic desensitization for social anxiety disorder would be:
- Exposing you to a public area, like a park. You don’t have to interact with anyone yet, it’s all about being in that environment that brings you the most fear
- Sitting next to someone or a group of people. Again, we are not interacting with anyone yet.
- Say hello to someone. It doesn’t have to be a conversation, just something brief. (We want to repeat this step numerous times, until the person feels comfortable)
- Strike a conversation with someone. Again, it doesn’t have to be a long conversation. Just talk to them for maybe 5-10 minutes. (Also, repeat this step numerous times)
- Begin to gravitate towards a group of people and start a conversation with them.
The purpose of systematic desensitization is to take a situation or a fear and allow the person to face it in small steps. It doesn’t matter how small the steps are, just if the person is willing or capable of completing these steps. If someone doesn’t feel comfortable, it’s okay to move back one step until they are ready to move on to the next. This technique can work for any issue or fear that you have. However, it is important to see a mental health professional, so they can guide you through the process.
2. Bring a friend with you or friends to your social gatherings
If you start feeling anxious and unable to control it, bring friends to your social gatherings to support you. Having that social support system is important in everyday life, especially when times are rough. Friends are there to care for you and make sure that you’re at your best. They know that you struggle in social situations, so they will go out of there way to make it easier for you. They might tell their friends to lead the conversation for you, so you don’t have to make the first move. Your friends might even tell you to avoid certain people because they might make you feel worse.
Conclusion
There are many things that you could do to deal with social anxiety disorder. These are the two things that I think would be most useful for you to try out. Everyone’s different, so maybe these things wont work for you. Just remember that it is still worth trying. If things get too difficult, you have people in your life to go to for help. If you do have social anxiety disorder, don’t think that there is anything wrong with you. You now know all the information needed to deal with it, so what are you waiting for? Show social anxiety disorder who’s in control!
